You’ve followed all the apartment tips to create the perfect living space, but now the honeymoon phase is coming to an end with your roommate, and it’s starting to become a source of stress. Living with someone can be a real pain when you have unresolved issues, so it’s important to nip things in the bud. Let’s dive right into the most common roommate problems and some ways you can address them.
Most Common Roommate Problems
A study at Boise State University found that nearly one out of every four people reported having problems with their roommate. Even minor annoyances can seem like a big deal once you start to resent your roommate, but most troubles can be traced back to one of the following issues:
Disagreements Over Bills – Money is at the root of relationship problems in many scenarios because people can become extremely sensitive when their finances are involved. If one roommate is consistently late paying their rent or doesn’t chip in their fair share for household supplies, it becomes a drain on everyone else. Living with someone is a lot like a business agreement, and it’s critical that each party holds up their end of the deal.
Being Loud – It can be disruptive when one roommate is always partying or watching TV at a loud volume late at night. This gets especially annoying when you have to wake up early the next day, or when you’re trying to work on or study for something important. Rule agreements are important, and that may include quiet hours.
Borrowing Without Permission – You get home hungry after a long workout, and excitedly go to the fridge for leftovers from your favorite restaurant– they’re gone. That kind of annoying situation can be a source of major conflict in living situations. Other borrowing or stealing problems commonly involve clothes, but this can really happen with any kind of possessions.
Division of Labor – There are a lot of chores that go into maintaining a nice apartment, and it’s frustrating when one person isn’t pulling their weight. If one roommate is a neat freak and another person is always leaving dirty dishes in the sink, things are likely to boil over sooner rather than later. It’s important to decide who’s responsible for different duties around the apartment.
Lack of Respect – You and your roommate are sharing a home, which is a deeply personal experience. It’s important to treat each other well and respect one another’s privacy. Let your roommate have their personal space when they need it– be conscientious of their sleep schedule among other routines.
These same problems can be applied to guests. If one roommate is always inviting over a guest who doesn’t respect the apartment, the other roommates might start to resent whoever is inviting the problems into their home. In many cases, it’s a good idea to let your roommates know before inviting someone to come over.
How to Resolve Roommate Issues
If you start to experience any problems with your roommate, including the problems above, it’s best to work on those things as soon as possible. If you leave things unresolved, the problem will fester and grow. It only gets harder to come to an agreement the longer you let negative situations go on. Try these nine steps to solve your roommate problems:
Be Proactive – At the first sign that you’re starting to have roommate problems, do something about it. Better yet, prevent problems from coming up in the first place by setting ground rules and talking about how you’re going to live together peacefully. Discuss things like how you’ll share the fridge, who is going to put the utilities in their name, and if you’re going to split costs for groceries.
Be Personal – Think about how both you and your roommate handle conflict, then try to tailor your approach to your personal styles. Part of the reason this is helpful is because it gets you thinking about things from your roommate’s point of view. Once you do that, it will be easier to reason with them, and it will make you more sympathetic to how they feel. Approach the situation in a controlled manner, and always be respectful to each other.
Communicate – As you work through problems, it’s important to keep the dialogue going and be a good listener. You might not be able to solve the problem with one conversation, so be willing to put continued effort into it over time. Definitely, don’t go to text messaging or social media with your issues. Those media aren’t nearly as personal, and your roommate might feel attacked when you try to bring something up like that.
Think Business – You and your roommate do not have to be best friends– in fact, sometimes it’s a lot better if you aren’t. Instead, you can think of yourselves as being in somewhat of a business like a relationship. You and your partner don’t have to hang out all the time outside of the apartment, but you do have to coexist while you’re there. This will help you take a professional, level-headed approach toward conflict management.
Phone a Friend – In some cases, the two of you may not be able to hash things out on your own. If previous conversations haven’t gone well, or if you just don’t think you and your roommate can find common ground, consider some form of mediation.
Be Blunt – Tell your roommate exactly what it is that’s bothering you. You don’t have to be rude or curt about it, but it is important to be honest. Sometimes changing a situation is as easy as bringing it to your roommate’s attention (nicely).
Give Them Space – Do not ignore the problem because it’s not likely to go away on its own. That said, you and your roommate may appreciate each other more if you have time to miss one another. One option is to discuss your issues, then get out of the apartment for a while so you both have time to process things.
Write It Down – If you and your roommate aren’t able to talk things through successfully, try getting an agreement in writing. The best time to do this is before you’re at each other’s throats, of course, because that will make it easier to come to a reasonable agreement. Get a roommate contract that sets guidelines about how you’ll both handle the things that have been causing you problems, then sign it. This process can feel a little bit unusual, but it has a good chance of yielding results.
Get Out – If the situation has gotten to a state that’s beyond repair, the only remaining course of action may be to remove yourself from a bad situation. Work with your apartment to find a way that you or your roommate can be replaced on the lease.
Apartments for Rent in Arizona
It’s easier to get along when you and your roommate live in a great unit from Heers Management. We can’t prevent all the drama, but we can certainly help by providing a beautiful Phoenix apartment. Contact us today to learn more.